Have you ever felt like you couldn’t control your reaction to an event in your life? Instead of pausing, you burst out. You’re not alone. I help hundreds of adults with behavior management for ADHD, and emotional regulation is a key aspect of treatment.
So, how do you start responding instead of reacting? In this guide, I’ll break down the difference between a response and a reaction, and how to use ADHD mindfulness to manage your emotions.
What is the Difference Between Responding Versus Reacting?
A response to an event or statement is often calm and well thought through before being expressed. A reaction, on the other hand, is more immediate and, oftentimes, emotionally charged.
Registered psychologist Dr. Audrey Tang elaborates:
“Simply put, when it comes to our communications, a reaction is instinctive and immediate – a bit like a reflex, or the proverbial ‘knee-jerk,’ a response is more reasoned and thought through.”
Psychology Today also offers strong insights into the difference between the two. They cite that reacting comes from the unconscious mind, which is filled with biases, prejudices, and anxious thoughts. Responding comes from both unconscious and conscious thoughts, and includes more deliberate thoughts that account for the effects of something one does or says.
In theory, responding is the better choice for navigating day-to-day work, life events, and relationships. But easier said than done for someone who struggles with emotional regulation.
Why Do People With ADHD React Instead of Respond?
People with ADHD may react instead of respond because symptoms such as impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and racing thoughts can make it difficult to pause before acting. Learning mindfulness and emotional regulation strategies can help create space between emotions and actions.
People with ADHD have symptoms like racing thoughts, impulsivity, trouble concentrating, brain fog, and emotional dysregulation, which make them more prone to reacting instead of responding.
Some might assume it’s only people with hyperactive ADHD who react instead of respond to situations. But that’s not always the case.
Some people with inattentive ADHD can struggle with reacting versus responding. I’ve heard this from many of my female clients struggling with ADHD.
While an individual who experiences impulsivity may react, someone with inattentiveness might react more internally in an anxious way, rather than taking the time to consider the whole situation and respond.
5 Steps for Managing Reactions When You Have ADHD
Learning to respond instead of react with ADHD involves building awareness of emotional triggers and developing strategies to create a pause before reacting.
ADHD medication can be an effective treatment for individuals with both inattentive and hyperactive, impulsive ADHD. Behavior management for ADHD looks different for everyone.
1. Find out if it’s ADHD.
Not sure if you have ADHD? You’re not alone.
About 25% of adults suspect they have undiagnosed ADHD. The first step in managing behavioral symptoms is to find the underlying cause.
The easiest way to do that? Take a free online ADHD test!
While it’s not a formal diagnosis, it can help you consider and identify your symptoms. After the test, you might feel more confident in your suspicion that you have ADHD.
At that point, you can book an appointment with one of our nurse practitioners. Our nurse practitioners can assess ADHD, provide a diagnosis, and prescribe ADHD medication when appropriate. We can help assess your symptoms and offer a formal diagnosis and treatment plan.
And if you don’t have ADHD? You’ll eliminate it as a possibility, and get closer to identifying the true cause of your symptoms.
2. Reflect on how meaningful your day-to-day feels.
Do you enjoy your work? Have you exhausted all opportunities to work on meaningful projects?
Consider your work or schooling, and reflect on ways to better align it with your interests. “Be in a job you love, study something you love, because love is a stimulant drug,” says Dr. Daniel Amen.
On top of these behavior management ADHD tips, we can’t forget one vital strategy to mitigate symptoms: meditation.
3. Start journaling.
I find that many of my ADHD clients struggle with racing thoughts and emotional dysregulation. While ADHD is the cause, a lack of reflection can worsen that symptom. When we don’t take time to understand our feelings, they creep up in unexpected ways (aka, reactions).
Journaling is a great way to become more aware of your emotions and thus, more able to control them.
4. Consider medication and therapy.
Treatment options vary for behavior management in ADHD patients. However, medication and therapy are often used in combination or sometimes exclusively.
ADHD medication can be an effective treatment for individuals with both inattentive and hyperactive, impulsive ADHD. Non-stimulant medications like guanfacine and atomoxetine are more commonly recommended for people with anxiety symptoms.
Similarly, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has proven to be successful for many of my clients. Studies show that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can reduce emotional reactivity and anxiety, both of which can contribute to reacting rather than responding in individuals with ADHD.
5. Introduce ADHD Mindfulness Into Your Routine
I often recommend mindfulness to my clients with ADHD because it is a simple, evidence-based approach to symptom management. Meditation helps develop self-awareness, allowing individuals to observe their thoughts and emotions without immediately acting on them.
Psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia elaborates on the benefits of meditation for people with ADHD:
“If you have ADHD, try to focus on one thing. You will fail, but then bring yourself back to it. What gets strengthened is your ability to return from a distraction to your task.”
In the case of reacting versus responding, meditation can teach you how to come back from an emotional reaction. You’ll learn over time to return from distractions (in this case, emotions) back to the task at hand.
Dr. Kanojia also asks people with ADHD what the cost of a distraction is. Consider this: if you react too quickly, what do you lose?
In professional settings, it could be your reputation. In personal settings, it could be harmony in your personal relationships. Finding ways to respond versus react can help you strengthen relationships and professional harmony.
“Meditation reduces the price you pay for distractions,” says Dr. Khanoja.
Stop Reacting and Start Responding with West Coast Adult ADHD
Learning to respond instead of react is a skill that can be developed with the right support. Through ADHD assessments, treatment planning, therapy, coaching, and medication support when appropriate, adults with ADHD can improve emotional regulation and build healthier relationships at work and in everyday life.
People with ADHD can be especially sensitive to their emotions, and that’s not always a bad thing. Oftentimes, they signal instincts that help guide us through life’s many decisions and journeys.
But the ability to pause before reacting can help you lead a more harmonious life.
Many of the adults I work with tell me they’re surprised by how much easier emotional regulation becomes once they learn to pause and understand what’s happening beneath the surface. Small changes practiced consistently can have a significant impact over time.
Are you ready to improve your relationships, feel better at work, and regain control of your emotions? Our mental health practitioners stand ready to support you through your ADHD treatment journey.
FAQs
Q: What is emotional dysregulation in ADHD?
A: Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulty managing emotional responses. Many adults with ADHD experience intense frustration, overwhelm, or sensitivity and may react more quickly to situations than they intend. Treatment strategies such as mindfulness, therapy, coaching, and medication can help improve emotional regulation.
Q: What is the difference between responding and reacting?
A: Responding is more thought-through and intentional, while reacting is immediate, instinctual, and often emotional. It comes from the conscious mind when someone takes time to consider long-term effects before doing or saying something. Reacting comes from the unconscious mind, when someone immediately says or does something without thinking.
Q: How to manage behavior for ADHD?
A: You can manage behavior for ADHD with meditation, CBT, medication, diet and lifestyle changes, and coaching. Many people with ADHD have different treatment plans, though any of these can help mitigate behavioral symptoms.
Q: What are calming strategies for ADHD?
A: Some calming strategies for ADHD include:
- Breathing exercises: You can choose from a variety of calming strategies. One is to take a deep inhale into the belly and let out a sighing exhale, and to repeat that multiple times. Another is to inhale for four counts, hold your breath for four counts, exhale for four counts, and repeat over time.
- Journaling: Writing down your emotions can help calm down from anger, stress, or anxiety.
- Exercise: Medical experts have found that exercise offers calming effects on ADHD symptoms similar to those of medication.
Q: How is ADHD behavior treated?
A: ADHD behavior is treated with medication, talk therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these interventions.
Resources
Psychologist’s take on reacting versus responding
Reacting versus responding
ADHD and emotional triggers
Study on undiagnosed ADHD
Doctor’s take on natural interventions for ADHD symptoms
Article about CBT for anxious symptoms
Psychiatrist’s take on meditation effectiveness for ADHD symptoms
Breathing exercises for people with ADHD
Medical review about the effects of exercise on ADHD symptoms