You’re prepping for a work meeting and feel a lump in your throat. Your colleagues will definitely engage in small talk before the meeting, and your ADHD communication challenges might make you dread the whole experience altogether.
And you’re not alone. Many of my adult ADHD clients struggle with small talk and find themselves easily distracted because it’s repetitive and lacks depth.
But sometimes, small talk is just part of the human experience. The good news? It doesn’t have to feel so dreadful. I’ll break down some typical communication challenges for people with ADHD, and actionable tips for having better conversations.
What Does Small Talk Feel Like for Someone With ADHD?
Small talk can feel boring for people with ADHD, which brings ADHD communication challenges like trouble focusing and interrupting.
Here’s how one person with ADHD describes small talk on Reddit:
“I have a big issue with making small talk, which probably comes from the fact that my mind goes completely blank every time I try to talk to someone. It’s not that I don’t have anything to talk about. It’s more like all the thoughts I have kind of cancel each other out, which leaves me completely silent and probably incredibly boring to talk to.”
Of course, blanking isn’t the only way a person with ADHD might process a conversation. For example, if you have hyperactive ADHD, your racing thoughts might cause you to say too much or interrupt the other person.
Some of my clients have also responded to small talk with oversharing or felt they showed too much emotion in a professional setting. These feelings can be particularly difficult for someone with ADHD, as they may overthink the experience and even feel ashamed.
What are the ADHD Communication Challenges with Small Talk?
Here are some specific ADHD communication challenges that might come up in conversations:
- Interrupting: People with ADHD, especially hyperactive ADHD, may struggle with intrusive behaviours that manifest as interrupting others during conversations.
- Switching topics rapidly: Inattentiveness is a common symptom among women with ADHD. This can cause you to get lost in conversations or switch from one topic to another abruptly.
- Talking too fast or too loud: ADHD can heighten emotional sensitivity, which might cause you to speak loudly or quickly during conversations.
- Oversharing: Some people with ADHD demonstrate people-pleasing behaviours. This can cause them to overshare in conversations, as they seek to provide something that the other person is looking to hear or relate to.
Can You Cure ADHD Communication Challenges?
There’s not a “cure” for ADHD, but you can find ways to mitigate ADHD communication challenges. Strategies might vary depending on each person, but could include things like medication, therapy and coaching, or meditation. While you can mitigate these challenges, you likely won’t cure them completely. ADHD treatment is an ongoing process and might look different for each person.
I’ve worked with clients across multiple age groups with ADHD, and almost all of them have struggled with communication challenges.
How to Hold a Better Conversation with ADHD?
People with ADHD can have better conversations with a few intentional tips and habits, such as actively listening, pausing before responding, and practicing emotional regulation. Once you feel more comfortable with small talk or any type of conversation, you’ll feel more confident in your professional and personal relationships.
Here’s how you can hold better conversations with ADHD:
- Practice Active Listening
You might feel excited to respond to everything said in a conversation. But this excitement might cause you to brush over what’s actually being said. Active listening helps you regulate and slow down the conversation, while making the other person feel comfortable, heard, and respected.
- Practice Conversations with Others
Get more comfortable with small talk by inserting yourself into more social situations. This will give you an opportunity to practice holding a conversation and feel confident when a professional conversation comes up.
Conversation practice might look like:
- Complimenting a stranger or colleague on their outfit
- Attending a family function or social event
- Calling a friend for a phone chat
- Sharing feedback over a call instead of over email
- Calling a business to make a reservation instead of doing it online
- Prepare in Advance
If you know you’re meeting someone new, prepare a couple of questions to lean on and ask in advance. Some ideas might include:
- “How long have you worked here?”
- “What’s your favourite part about your work day-to-day?”
- “Have you tried any restaurants in this area?”
- “What’s something you’re looking forward to?”
- Ask Questions Throughout the Conversation.
It might be tempting to comment on everything a person says in a conversation. However, you’ll build depth and connection if you ask the other person to elaborate.
For example, if a colleague shares their work history with you, you might consider asking them about a specific experience in greater detail.
- Repeat or Rephrase Key Points.
Ever blanked or zoned out mid-conversation? Happens to the best of us; ADHD or not. Repeating key points can help ground yourself in the conversation and stay on track.
- Pause Before Responding or Sharing
A 5-second pause might feel like a long time in your mind. But it’s a chance for both members of a conversation to process information and gather their thoughts. Pausing before responding can help you share more thoughtful responses and avoid oversharing.
- Get a Tailored Treatment Plan For Your ADHD
People with ADHD struggle with varying symptoms that, when treated, can make it easier to hold conversations. Whether you’re easily distracted or struggle with rejection sensitivity, there’s a solution that’ll work for your needs and lifestyle.
Reach out to book a consultation with our team
Overcome ADHD Communication Challenges with West Coast Adult ADHD
ADHD communication challenges don’t have to hold you back anymore. With a tailored treatment plan and a few habitual tips, you can feel confident in your conversations.
Ready to have meaningful conversations in your professional and personal life? Book an appointment today.
FAQs
- Do people with ADHD struggle with communication?
Yes, people with ADHD struggle with communication in a few ways. They might lose track of their thoughts and the conversation because they’re easily distracted. Or, they might have racing thoughts that cause them to interrupt, talk loudly, or abandon the conversation’s topic for a new one altogether.
- Do adults with ADHD struggle with relationships?
Yes, people with ADHD tend to struggle with relationships, both familial, romantic, platonic, and professional. They may overshare, fall in love quickly, or struggle to abide by social cues deemed appropriate by others without ADHD.
- Do people with ADHD struggle with small talk?
Yes, people with ADHD struggle with small talk because it can feel draining and repetitive. People with hyperactive ADHD might interrupt, switch topics quickly, or struggle to keep a comfortable pace in the conversation. Others with inattentive ADHD might drift off mentally and struggle to follow the thread of the conversation.
- How do you improve communication with ADHD?
You can improve communication with ADHD with a few different strategies, like:
- Actively listening before speaking
- Pausing before responding
- Asking questions to build on the conversation
- Responding and commenting thoughtfully on what the other person has said
- Managing other ADHD symptoms with tailored treatment plans
- Does ADHD make it harder to speak?
ADHD doesn’t affect speech in and of itself; however, it can affect the tone, pace, and manner in which you speak. For example, people with ADHD may have trouble organizing their thoughts before speaking, move too quickly between topics, or speak louder than conventionally appropriate.
Link Index
- Home page for West Coast Adult ADHD:
https://adhdvancouver.ca
- Forum about ADHD and small talk: https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/13dlmlf/help_with_small_talk/
- Medical article about ADHD:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd-a-to-z
- West Coast ADHD article about ADHD symptoms in women:
https://adhdvancouver.ca/adhd-symptoms-in-women-that-are-often-overlooked/
- Article about ADHD and emotional sensitivity:
https://www.additudemag.com/hypersensitivity-disorder-with-adhd/?srsltid=ARcRdnqVG7-wC4DGvUcbAF1MRw4pzXFLVxqBDvcwqlB_rgOn7qkAxw9H
- ADHD personal account of their experiences with oversharing:
https://www.additudemag.com/oversharing-rsd-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-hyperverbal-adhd/?srsltid=AfmBOoo14G9a0DayJ_3LyQQzy3rElM8MOTEYKPorgwOK_3IJGAp7fy2i
- West Coast Adult ADHD therapy and coaching service page:
https://adhdvancouver.ca/adhd-therapy-and-coaching/
- Free ADHD assessment test:
https://adhdvancouver.ca/free-adhd-test/
- Contact page for West Coast Adult ADHD:
https://adhdvancouver.ca/contact-us/
- Appointment page for West Coast Adult ADHD:
https://westcoastadultadhd.janeapp.com/
- Symptoms of ADHD and affects on interpersonal relationships:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/adult-adhd/symptoms-causes/syc-20350878
- Emotional regulation in people with ADHD and how to improve it:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/self-regulation-for-adults-strategies-for-getting-a-handle-on-emotions-and-behavior
- Article about how ADHD affects speech:
https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-and-speech#signs